The Time to Hesitate is Through

After spending the last several days talking to receptionists at my places of various medical caregivers, I made a personal decision that I am going to continue my season as I want. This may seem to make a lot of sense. However, after my doctor telling her receptionist to tell me that I should not race this weekend I was hesitant. I have tried for the past many days to get in to see my doctor, but she has been completely booked. I have been on the cancellation list and I have tried to get the receptionist to let me talk to my doc over the phone. No dice. Alas, I was stuck with an in-between message from my doctor from the receptionist saying that “Dr. Nave does not recommend that you race this weekend.” Of course when I ask why that would be, there is no reply from the receptionist – how could she reply for my doctor? Apparently my doc wanted me to wait for my tests to be done – an EEG and a consult with a neurologist. Ok. So I ask when those are happening. The helpful receptionist says she’ll get back to me. She calls me back to say that the office that does the EEGs did not get their fax. I couldn’t help but wonder if that was kind of like the whole “What? You didn’t receive my email?” or the “It must have got lost in the mail!” situation when in actuality you didn’t send it in the first place. They sent in another requisition and my appointment is booked for November 16th. That’s right… November 16th. That is four months from now. I would have loved to ask the question, “Is there even a point to GETTING an EEG done 4 months from now??” But again, I could not talk to my doctor. I called the office that does the EEGs and they told me that there are lots of sick children that need EEGs and that I would have to just wait until November. Oh yeah… did I mention the neurologist? The waiting list for that is 1 to 6 months… for the appointment! I’m not sure if you, dear reader, can feel my frustration that is pouring from my fingers into this keyboard, but trust me when I say that its presence is very strong right now.

It became clear that I had to make an uninformed decision. I sat in my house contemplating my choices. I had two: 1) Fake stroke symptoms and go to emergency hoping that they would get me tested right away, or 2) Just go ahead and live my life. Honestly, #1 was tempting, but I really hate the ER and I felt this pang of guilt from that woman saying that the kids are sick. So #2 won out. I talked to several close friends and my mom and sister about it. While everyone is, of course, a little bit concerned of “something” happening, they are supportive of my decision and know that I would have done it no matter what anyone said. I sent in my registration and talked to my friends in Penticton, who are letting me crash at their place. I have my support buddy booked and am pretty much ready to go. My dogs are coming with us and we leave tomorrow. Hopefully Sunday goes well and I do, indeed, break on through to the other side of my slump.