I have noticed over the last couple of years of hard training that when my stress levels are high, I am not motivated at all to train. Generally, after I train I feel much better, but it is so hard to get out and do it. Now that I have made this connection, hopefully it will help me to keep my training levels up no matter what my anxiety and stress levels. I can’t help but wonder, though, if it is a body or mind response. Or maybe it’s both… they are connected, after all. I am going to try very hard to get on the bike today, or maybe do a brick workout of bike-run. That would be good.

I had a rough night last night and my anxiety levels were very high. This morning I woke up feeling like I had just been hit by a bus, not unlike what Michael Rasmussen must be feeling today as he watches his fellow cyclists leave him behind. I watched the Tour de France this morning, but was vibrating the whole time. My heart-rate was elevated even though I was not spinning my legs on the bike, pumping my arms up a hill, or slicing my arms through the water. I am working on a post about my anxiety and its effect on my training… or maybe it’s on my training affecting my anxiety. Either way, they go hand-in-hand these days.

So I took the day off of work and am glad that I did. I did some meditating, some chilling out, I chirped at the birds, and I went swimming. I did 6 x 200m intervals in the water and was worried that I didn’t have a stop watch to see what my time was. Then I had a thought… does time really matter? Does it REALLY matter if I shave off a few seconds off of my 200m time? The reason I do intervals is to be faster for the 4000m swim I have to do in exactly one month. Since I am trying really hard not to have any time goals for Ironman, I really shouldn’t be worried about times at all. I should be focusing on getting in my long rides/runs/swims and doing intervals the rest of the time. It doesn’t matter how long the intervals take me – what is important is that I do them and push myself. Maybe it matters to a pro or even someone trying to win their age category, but it does not matter for me at this time. Realizing this took tons of pressure off of me. So I just pushed through the 200m intervals and tried to get my heart-rate up as much as possible. I tried hard to make my arms feel mushy and pretty much succeeded.

I think I just need to keep realizing what is important and what isn’t. Priorites are important at this point.