Consistently Inconsistent

Last week was a tough week. I actually wrote a blog post about being consistently inconsistent and it turned out to be a self-prophesying post. I was busy and tired and did the best that I could, but I didn’t get on my bike and I didn’t swim. I took the term “rest week” to a whole new level where I did so much resting, I did a whole lot of not much else. However, I went on my walks and I restfully recovered. This week is already off to a better start with a great swim today.

This morning I also had a dose of success. I was looking for clothes to wear and I thought I would try to put on some capri pants that I couldn’t even fit over my thighs last summer. Today not only could I get them all the way up, but I could button them! They weren’t quite comfortable so I put them safely back in my closet and went off to do my swimming workout. It made me excited, though, to see some results of the work I’ve been doing to become more healthy and comfortable in my body. This week I have my workouts planned and am committed to them. I feel rested and energized. On Friday my biking buddy and I are planning to do 50km, my first 50 in two years!

Here is the self-prophesying blog post I wrote last week:

This week is the third week of my new attitude toward training. It’s definitely not a coincidence that the weather has perked up and we are finally having some decent weather. However, I can feel the fatigue creeping up on me and starting to bog me down.

Last week I felt the same thing on Tuesday and eventually pushed myself through. I had done some sort of training/working out for several days in a row and I was tired. It was 6pm by the time I got home from work and a massage. I wanted to chill out and then go to bed. My day was planned, though, with my nutrition and it was based around going for a bike ride that night. I had eaten my favourite restaurant meal from a veggie cafe in the city and I bought myself one of their vegan power bars for after the ride. It was planned and all I had to do was execute it.

I got home and felt sluggish. I thought about how tired I was and I got bogged down in the negative thoughts of: I’ve done a lot today, I need to rest, maybe I can fit in a ride tomorrow, and I’m just so tired. I told myself that I could have an hour just to hang out. At 7 I was still tired and had no energy. I would give myself another half hour, but I had to go at 7:30 or else I wouldn’t get a bike ride in before it got dark. At 7:30 I got my butt out of the chair and went towards my bike. It felt like a victory. I was going.

There were many times that I almost didn’t go after getting out of the chair. I couldn’t find one bike glove, I couldn’t find my headphones, I wanted to put on my clipless pedals, but couldn’t find my tools, etc. It felt like I was jumping hurdle after hurdle, and just when I thought I was good to go another hurdle came up. It was really annoying and I almost didn’t go just to stay home and organize my equipment so that this didn’t happen again. I knew, though, that if I didn’t go that the guilt would paralyze me and I wouldn’t do anything at all.

I got out the door at 8:00 with my helmet, my headphones, my bike gloves, and whatever the other now-forgotten hurdles behind me. I didn’t get my clipless pedals on so I was still riding on flats. Still, I went. Not only did I go, but I got my legs back! I GOT MY LEGS BACK!

The first time I ever “got my legs” while training, I remember the joy of my legs doing exactly what they were supposed to. They responded to my brain telling them to “spin more” or “stand up and get up the hill.” For the past year or two my legs wouldn’t listen. They couldn’t. They had forgotten what it felt like to respond. Last Tuesday my legs remembered. It was a glorious bike ride!

I got home sweaty, red-faced, and so happy. It was a sweet feeling and one that I want to hold on to to keep me going with my training and my consistency with training. Getting out the door was, literally, the hardest part of the whole ride. I am going to keep that memory in my back jersey pocket because those thoughts and feelings are not going anywhere, and I know that I’ll need to push through again and again.

I got my legs back!
I got my legs back!

On Friday I went out for a bike ride with my training buddy and my legs responded again. He was impressed and I told him that I was getting back to my regular self. It has made me feel so much better about myself and my commitment to getting back into training and better health. It is a lot of work, but the benefit is so worth it.

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